Nekid Peoples

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Breaking the Silence; Douchebag Syndrome and you.

Well it's been a while since I had the time to write up a little something so here we are. Working where I do I often see women mixed up with the entirely wrong type of guy. Women who could have pretty much anyone they want, dealing every day with some out of work loser that cheats on them, takes the money they do have for stupid shit, and just generally treats them like crap. I've struggled for years trying to figure out what it is these guys have that keep women drooling over them. I believe it's an as to yet undiscovered medical problem. Something in these women's brains that sets them on the path of heavy breathing and salivating when one of these asshats is around. For the sake of this blog we'll call it Douchebag Syndrome. We'll dissect this horrible and tragic mental disorder and point out how you, the non-douchebag, can take full advantage of it to land a hot chick with low self-esteem. Let's get started.

The first thing we need to do here is describe the sort of guy Douchebag Syndrome attracts these women to. The main thing is that you can't work. If you have a job, quit. Stop applying for jobs if you don't have one. Sit on your ass all day long, shower once or twice a week, and generally be a drain on society. The next thing you have to do is be a complete asshole. Walk around with that undeserved sense of accomplishment and act like women are nothing more than fuck toys to be covered in your man-juice and tossed to the side. I know all of this seems counter productive but for some reason all the hottest women love guys like this... no joke.

So how do you become a douche that all the womenz are gonna want? Well lets explore what about these pillars of douchebaggery attracts women and how you, the normal high functioning member of society, can imitate them to fuck hot women. Now remember following these hints and steps will result in you actually acting like a douchebag, even if in your heart you're not. So just remember it won't be just the women around you that notice your new found asshattery, but also your friends and family as well so proceed with caution.

The biggest thing that Douchebag Syndrome attracts women to is men who think they're God's gift to the world. The fact that they don't work and can't provide a single thing to these women around them is irrelevant. Their levels of confidence are through the roof and so you must also show this level of confidence. Remember to remind all the women around you that you are, in fact, better than them on every level and they would be lucky to have your cock in their mouth. In fact if at all possible you should try to convince the dumber ones around you that your cock is actually filled with vitamin W and they should make sure to get a bit of it because it will make them far more attractive and intelligent. The main thing with this part of being a douchebag isn't acting confident, it's acting like an arrogant ass. The thing you must remember is that that none of these cumstains on the collective underpants of society have any reason to be egotistical about anything. They're jobless, clueless, worthless, and generally dickless too. For if you ask a woman struck down with D.S. if their man is good in bed the general response is a roll of their eyes or a muttered disgust. So be as totally worthless as you can be all while walking around thinking your Brad Pitt. Women. Love. That.

Second on the plate of Douchebag Syndrome is to treat the women around you like complete shit. Remeber that women afflicted by D.S. have little to no self respect. If you try to make them realize they're beautiful or a great catch, you're right out. Remember to play the douchebag card to it's fullest here. Play up the little imperfections they're obssessing about, make sure they know that no man would actually want to deal with their bullshit, and who the fuck is gonna want to touch their used up crazy ass? Not you, that's for sure. Make them think they're lower than the dog shit your scrapped off your shoe on the way in and they're less than nothing to you. This will drive their libido into overdrive. It's unknown as yet why treatment like this makes women with D.S. hornier than an African rhino in heat on Viagra, but it does work. Stick to this treatment and before you know they'll be begging you to bless them with your penis.

The next thing you have to establish is that you're willing to go to the ends of the Earth to establish that you are, in fact, the biggest douchenozzle they will ever encounter. To do this you need to make sure they know they're your's. The best way to do this is to yell, scream, and berate them at every chance you get. Make sure they know that they have no right to talk to their friends, go anywhere without you, make new friends, or talk to anyone else that has a penis. To top it all off you have to fuck at least two of their current friends, and one perfect stranger that you pick up in a bar. Just because they're not allowed to go out doesn't mean you have to live by those same rules. You have to make sure they know about you cheating as well. This will crush their self esteem even more and ensure that they think something is wrong with them so they have to try harder to win your love and affection. The best thing you can do is get them to start fighting with their friend over you. Make them hate each other and fight over who gets to actually have you. Be sure to continue fucking them both to draw this out for as long as you can. Because the longer they fight over you, the more it alienates them from their friends around them who don't have D.S. and can't understand for the love of Christ why they would fight each other over having a worthless shitstain like you in their life. Now, once you've gotten them fighting and hating one another you can start the process all over again with another of your woman's friends or one of the other woman's friends to draw her further into your douchiness. This is an endless cycle of pussy for you and they're never willing to actually walk away because once stuck in the Thrall of Douchebag Syndrome, no woman afflicted with it can willingly walk away from you.

Now, if you're like me, you're generally feeling pretty sick to your stomach right now. That nausea is good! It means you're not a Douchebag. For some reason about roughly 70-75% of the female population of this world is afflicted with D.S. and there is no known cure. Fellas, if you have a woman friend afflicted with this horrible mental disorder there is little you can do other than sit back and watch her destroy herself over and over again because if you try to interfere they'll hate you for it. If you chase off one of these douchemonkeys your friend will never speak to you again. Guys, you can't fight the power of the douche. The only thing you can do is help your friend pick up the pieces... douche after douche, after inhuman douche... or simply walk away. I suggest the latter of these options as, honestly, it just gets sad to watch. If you believe you can take advantage of these terrible symptoms and land you one of your women friends afflicted by this horrible disease and not want to punch yourself in the ballsack, then by all means do and please email me your findings. We're the only ones looking into this sad state of affairs and we must do all we can to research and diagnose Douchebag Syndrome.

Remember always my friends, the power of the DoucheSide is strong indeed. It's faster, easier to get a woman with a hot ass and banging titties using the DoucheSide. But in the end it will dominate you and ultimately consume you. Turning you into that which you hate... a womanizing Douchebag. Beware the power of the DoucheSide if you attempt to harness it.

Next week we'll look at the male version of D.S. Something I myself have struggled with for years and I believe I have finally conquered. Yes guys, next week we look into Psycho-Bitch-Mojo.