How to use the Bill of Rights as toilet paper: One easy step!

Hello again everyone! This week we'll be examining a current bill before the wonderful and caring men and women of the Senate. We'll also speak of the men responsible for trying to save us all from the evils of terrorism and give them the credit due to such brilliant thinkers.

Here it is folks, while perhaps looking good on paper this is one of those bills that is much like my ex girlfriend. It looks pretty hot from a few steps back. Up close its nice, has a pretty hot ass, nice full lips and pretty eyes. But before you know it, she's running around fucking everyone while you're not looking. The wording of the bill as it was introduced to the floor:

"The Terrorist Expatriation Act would allow the State Department to revoke the citizenship of people who provide support to terrorist groups like Al Qaeda or who attack the United States or its allies."

And:

"The State Department will make an administrative determination that a U.S. Citizen has indicated an intent to renounce their citizenship by supporting an FTO."

Well hmm, what's so wrong with that? In practice? Nothing. IF it were to remain true to the wording of the bill. However we've all seen how good our government is at turning legislation on its ear for its own purposes. The wording of the bill is 'support for a terrorist organization'. Also it turns taking YOUR rights from you into an administrative act, rather than a judicial one. You would never stand in front of a judge, never get a chance to plead your case. The reason this is so bloody terrifying is that our elected officials have no idea how to actually apply their laws. Look at the Patriot Act. Great in theory, would be awesome in application if done right. But a few years back it was used by the FBI to break up a cock fighting ring in Tennessee.

Now I'm not sure what men battling one another with their junk has to do with terrorism and I'm pretty sure the FBI overstepped their bounds, used the Patriot act to get an end around the law and these guys' right to play tummy swords with one another. Not only that but they used the Patriot Act as a way to keep Gay men from their right to cock fight with one another and....what? Chickens? Seriously they used it to break up a chicken fighting ring? Well that's even worse! Not only does our government hate Gay people but now they hate Chickens too!

So let's make this clear. Using this law in conjunction with other 'terrorist' laws that have been misused since their passing into law the U.S Government can label you a 'terrorist' for any sort of activity they don't like. The can use the Patriot Act to tap your phone, follow you, take pictures of you, record your private conversations with people, and if they don't like what you're doing they can arrest you as a terrorist for any law you happen to break, no matter how small it is. And once you're in custody for loitering, drunk in public, disorderly conduct, or actually going to the local korean massage parlor and getting that happy ending, they can label you a terrorist and strip you of your citizenship, which in turn, strips you to your right of due process.

The REALLY scary thing is that the Patriot Act clears the FBI and government agencies to pretty much spy on anyone they deem a 'threat'. That includes millions of americans already on 'watch lists' that are completely innocent of any wrong doing simply because they attend a rally or a protest or speak out loud about their distrust of the government or their lack of satisfaction with their elected officials. Hell I bet I'm on one of those lists. I bet you're on one of those lists for simply reading this blog.

Who could want to introduce such a vague and all encompassing law?

LIEBERMAN!! *Shakes his fist at the sky*

That's right folks. Of all the people that could come up with this shitty, ill thought out law it would have to be our old friend Droopy. Along with his pal, Ron 'Look at my pecs' Brown, he actually thought this would be a good idea! I share with you now the email I sent to Senator Lieberman's website.

"Dear Senator Lieberman,

You are either Darth Vader in disguise or the dumbest man to ever grace the Senate floor. Do you not realize that every law congress has ever passed dealing with terrorists and taking away rights of American citizens has been abused by every law enforcement agency in the country? Do you not realize this law would be abused as well? The wonders that the FBI has worked with the Patriot act are overshadowed by their abuses. The Terrorist Expatriation Act will only allow them MORE sweeping powers to arrest and take away the citizenship of anyone they or their superiors deem a 'threat'. Without standing in front of a judge to make that call. You want to hand the power to revoke an American's rights to 'administrative' actions. Are you insane? Are you high? I would like to think you're just high. So please, put down the crack pipe or the mushrooms or whatever the fuck you took before you thought this law up and do your fucking job. Your job is to represent Americans, not think of ways for the Government to control even more of our lives. If you don't think the Patriot act has been abused, check out the Cock Fighting ring it was used to break up in Tennessee. See how the RICO act is no longer used against organized crime but against normal citizens, even churches! You claim to be a man of the people. I say prove it. Take this bill off the table. For if it passes, I promise you that within 5 years it will be used to strip the rights of normal citizens that the government may not like. Political enemies, protesters, Sarah Palin! Well okay lock up Sarah Palin please. Seriously. Christ what a whack job that chick is. Otherwise, keep the government's already too large hands off of my rights!

Sincerely,
NN"

Let's here it for Droopy! This is a very real, and very serious bill that has been introduced. So I implore all of you to email your senators and ask them to vote this bill down. Also ask them to whip Lieberman on the senate floor. Somewhere the founding fathers are jumping up and down screaming for someone to challenge these pussies to a duel.

So in closing I say to you FUCK this bill and FUCK Droopy and Super Pecs for coming up with it. You two should be ashamed of yourselves and I hope the zombie of George Washington eats your brains.