Political Stances of the Naked Ninja

Although politics has entered a new era, now with 57% more suck and 83% more corruption, some people still ask me where my loyalties lie. Well the answer is pretty simple, with the one that makes the most sense. Party lines have divided this country into the stupid and the even more stupid.

What I mean by that isn't as simple as party politics. So for the layperson, here's a simple list of political issues and my stances on them.

Conservatives: Gay bashing, gun toting, minority hating, big business loving, greedy, corrupt, hypocrites. Uber conservative people are among the most retarded people on the planet. Seriously. Shooting down every idea for the sake of shooting it down because it didn't come from your party is the very height of ignorance and pettiness. Anyone that embraces Sarah Palin should just stick their head in a fucking microwave and save us all the trouble. Also has anyone noticed that these guys hate gays but every sexual scandal that comes out is some gay bashing conservative getting his dick sucked in a bathroom by a DUDE?!? Text book self-loathers.

Liberals: *Sigh* Gun hating, white hating, man hating, big business loving, big government loving, greedy, corrupt, hypocritical pussies. Uber liberals come up with ideas that verge on treason and think they're spectacular. They are the ultimate two faced assholes. They claim they will change how things are done but almost instantly resort to how things have been for decades. They hate the military and hamstring every effort our troops make to win any war of any kind. The media for the most part falls in this category. Change for the sake of change is just as stupid as not allowing good ideas through. Obama, while he speaks all nice and flowery, needs to have a giant dick shoved in his mouth so he'll shut the fuck up. He's clueless and at best a quasi-socialist, at worst he's fucking incompetent.

Anyone who claims they are one thing is the embodiment of all that is wrong with this country. No one is just ONE thing. Me, for example, when it comes to financial issues like the national budget, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to financial issues like reigning in wall street and the criminals that sent this country spiraling into this ruin we find ourselves at, I'm pretty fucking liberal there. Also I love strippers.

The Wars: We need to take the gloves off our troops and let them actually FIGHT. I have fought for our country and served my time. The media needs to lay off our guys. War is hell. Guess what? In war people get fucking killed and shit gets destroyed. That's why its called war and not happy fun fun time. The enemy we're facing doesn't care about innocents or boundries. They will kill anyone they can to get their point across. There is no negotiating with them, there is no reasoning with them. We have to KILL them before they kill us. It's that simple. We can't run up and hug them into submission. Politicians that have never served a day in our military need to shut the fuck up and listen to the experts, yanno the people that have some experience in this, this means YOU Mr. President. Douche.

The Oil Spill: Wow. That's a pretty big oopsie there. What do you mean methods that work on land won't work a mile below the ocean at those pressures? Really? Maybe if the southern states get drenched in oil they'll pay a little more attention to who they elect and maybe we can keep some of the big oil loving ass monkeys out of office. I do find it amusing that Obama took a month to do anything and the media has yet to crucify him. Bush was three days late and they were on his shit like my ex on a strange man's cock. That's really, really fast if you were wondering.

Gays in the military: As a former marine I can honestly say 85% of the military doesn't give a fuck if your gay. And the ones that do care are generally the dipshit rednecks that the rest of us would let run in first to get shot. It's called 'cannon fodder' people, look it up. Besides if I have to have someone watching my ass, it might as well be someone that thinks my ass is cute.

Gay marriage: Uhm. Who the hell cares. If they want to be miserable with the rest of us go for it!

Gun control: Enforce the laws we have and it might work. Otherwise I'm gonna need my guns for when the government collapses under its own stupidity. Hey! I have a regional warlordship to form here people.

President Obama: Choke on a dick, shut the fuck up, go away.

President Bush: How the hell did we end up electing every cowboy cliche all wrapped up into one epicly defective package?

President Clinton: Slimebag piece of shit that nearly got me killed while I was in the service. Fuck you and the prostitute a.k.a "intern" you rode in on.

Congress: What those guys? They suck more than a two dollar hooker on half off day. Votes for sale to the highest bidder. No fucking accountability and absolutely no fucking ethics.

Organized religion: Deluded. Most mean well. But most also fail to see that organized religion of any sort, ultimately, comes down to power and controlling the masses. And money. Lots and lots of money.

So, Naked Ninja, you say, How can we change and save this amazing country we all live in? Well that's actually pretty simple. Shut the news off. Don't listen to the radio shows about politics. They're all self serving douchenozzles that are only there to suck off their party. This includes, but isn't limited to; Fox News, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, every lunatic on the radio with a talk show, even guys like Stewart and Colbert. I find them both funny but they're both left wing mouth pieces. Research the candidates. You can look almost anything up on the internet. Make up your OWN mind. We're the generation that will have to save this country from the ass puppets we'll be getting it from. They got it wrong. Dead fucking wrong. And we're the ones that will be paying the price for it for decades to come. I, for one, don't want to leave things worse off for my kids. We have to think about who makes the most sense and who has the best track records. Political parties are wrong. They've destroyed what was once the gleaming jewel of hope on this planet. So to republicans and democrats alike I say this:

Fuck you. Every empire must fall and now are the days of your discontent. You too will fall. Simply put, suck the collective giant cock of America and go away.

Your's in shadow and nakedness,

Ninja